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Question from Ami: ” If you are photographing a wedding and the bride and groom invite you to join in for dinner do you? How do you respectfully decline without hurting feelings?”
Andrea: I have stayed for dinner before and it was completely weird & uncomfortable so I have to hear the answers for this too…
Dezzie: Thank you, but I’m to excited to eat. This was an amazing wedding and I can’t let a memorable moment pass.” Then continue shooting. 😀
Alicia: On the contrary I know many full-time wedding photographers that have it in their contract that they are to be fed, including their assistants.
Crystal: In my contract, if I am photographing a wedding longer than 6 hours, I am expected to be fed. My contract also states that I would need to be fed (either served or buffet style) after the wedding party so that I am done eating when they are (which allows me to be available to immediately begin photographing again when they start festivities up again). If I were to wait until last, I am just getting my food when they are ready to move on to the next phase of the reception and I either don’t get to eat, or I could miss vital shots. If I am doing less than 6 hours, I bring lots of snacks and do not require a meal. When offered, I politely state that it is not necessary and that I have planned ahead so they do not have to worry about the expense of feeding me. I let them know that I’m very appreciative of their thinking about me though. Usually this works fine and doesn’t hurt feelings. It actually lets them know that I am conscious of the cost they would incur and that I don’t want to incur any additional expenses for them (which I’m sure they appreciate).
Abby: I only accept due to being diabetic and being required by my nutritionist to eat every 2 hours – but I only do a quick snack and get right back to shooting. Before I found out I was diabetic I would always say that I would try to grab a bite if I had a second, but never really did. They’re usually too busy to notice if you’ve eaten or not!
Jessica: If I am in contract to stay through a large part or all of the reception, I do have dinner (and my assistant)… You have to eat and who wants pics of people putting food in their mouth anyway. If you jump in and just start talking to guest around you, you can have a fabulous time… I love meeting new people so I always have a blast when I get to have dinner at the reception.
Jeff: I recently accepted the offer of food but had it away from the guests in the bar area…I feel i am there to work and not to join in
Rebecca: Why wouldn’t you eat? We’re photographers, not robots! We need to eat just like everyone else. I state to my brides and grooms that I am to be fed immediately so that I can be done to shoot when the wedding party is done!
Mary: During my first wedding the bride and groom insisted I sat down and ate. I did and booked 2 sessions from the table! Plus, the bride thanked me during the toast! While you are there to work it is also important to build relationships with the family and friends. They will remember the photographer who talked and laughed. Not the one that hid in the bar.
Denise: That’s such an awkward moment. NO! Don’t join in. You’re at work in front of many potential customers. Professionalism all the way. I’d say “That’s very kind, perhaps after I’m finished”
Kerrie: When I do weddings it’s a long day. In my contract I have an area that discusses dinner. It states it do not have to be provided, but to let me know so I can prepare accordingly. Weddings can be anywhere from 6 to 8 hours long, so I don’t think sitting to eat a bit, if the bride and groom agree, will hurt anything. I can always get up and take pictures, I have in the past. I think it should be brought up front and discussed prior to the wedding.
Lindsay: Absolutely you eat!!! I work anywhere between 10 and 12 hours each wedding. I don’t typically get a chance to eat before dinner is served. I eat while the wedding party eats so that I’m not missing anything (my shots of reception decor are typically taken before the wedding even begins) . My first two weddings I was too nervous to eat. I got home after what ended up as 14 hours without eating. It was not the way to go!! I also never invite myself to eat. The couples I shoot for are always great about saying “please eat!” And I also eat out of sight. However, the last wedding I didn’t have a place to hide. I booked two weddings out of that reception so obviously no one was offended.
Jennifer: My husband used to work as a second shooter on weddings years ago, and they were always fed, it was in the contract and I’m pretty sure it’s typical. I just did a wedding recently, but I was also a guest (cousins), so that was a little different. I think for me, it would depend on how long you were shooting. A short wedding, I don’t know if I would feel comfortable taking food, but a longer one, yes, of course. If you’re working in an office or a factory, no one would think anything of you taking a break to eat, so why would it be different if you were shooting a wedding? If you’re there over 5 or 6 hours, you need to eat.
Jen: All of the photogs that I know join in for dinner – most weddings I have done the bride and groom have a table set up just for the vendors so for the videographer- planner and dj or who ever else they have there. It’s been great for networking. And how is it unprofessional to have dinner with them??? Our company has a strict no alcohol policy when we’re at an event but we always join in for dinner- when you do a wedding from 11 am to 11 pm you enjoy that meal!
Amanda: Yes, eat! People are very understanding and realize you do need food. At my last wedding I shot, I passed up the meal and that was a big mistake. Sure I brought granola bars, but they only go so far when you’re working 10 hours straight. Now I have it in my contract that if I’m shooting more than 6 hours I do need a meal.
Valerie: Definitely! It’s in my contract to feed me & my assistant.
Geneva: We shoot all weddings as day long events so by dinner we are hungry. I don’t feel bad eating. We always meet new fun people and we get future clients and new friends from it as well.
Kristin: I eat. Up to this point my bride and groom have always insisted upon it. I did add it to my contract recently though. Most people do not like their picture taken while eating, so it’s usually appreciated anyway. I stay ready and stop eating/get up if there is something to capture ( e.g. Toasts).
Charlie: When we do weddings we never shoot during supper, that is our break time. It’s in our contract that we eat supper at the wedding, can’t really go 12 hours without eating lol if your afraid of missing something eating only takes 10 minutes.
Becky: Why wouldn’t you eat?! I have it in my contract that I require a meal. I’m never there for less than 8 hours and i’ve been there as long as 15 before (new years eve wedding). There is no job in which you wouldn’t be allowed a break to eat on an 8 hour or more shift. Most of my clients actually set me at a table which i love so I’m in the same room as them in case there is a spur of the moment speech or something. Some venues do have a separate room and a vendor meal. I don’t care what I eat, but I need to eat. By the time we get to the reception I’ve often been with them for 8-10 hours already!
Kim: As a casual.photographer myself and also the mother of an upcoming bridge I absolutely would expect tisinger feed the photographer and assistant. So long as they don’t decide to eat during the cutting of the cake or some other important part of the ceremony I don’t see why not.
Christy: In my contract, 6 hours or more I must be fed, preferably after wedding party so I don’t miss anything. I also tell them to speak with the caterer if it is sit down, not buffet, as some offer a lower cost meal (wrap, pasta) for the vendors.
Ami: Thanks everyone
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