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Question from Kori: ” I’m a photographer, I am not perfect by any means I know this. Recently I was in my best friends wedding. Although I had hand picked quite a few great photographers for her to choose from, her then fiancee’ insisted on going with a family friend that has some, but not a lot of experience. With out being completely negative, there were so many posing, background, lighting issues that I couldn’t help but nit pick because its just second nature to me. I know no one likes a no it all. And I don’t claim to be. But I do know that weddings are critical. I never said a word the whole day (except when she posed the wedding party in front of a dead tree I might have nonchalantly mentioned how green it was in a different area of the park. But none the less, I still kept my opinions to myself. Has anyone experienced something like this, and if so, how did you handle it? What did you say?”
Wendy: Yes, at a family members wedding. I offered to help the photog and she replied, I know what I am doing…well not so much!
Kelly: I force myself to shut my brain down. I assist the friend (assuming they want help and they are open to it) in picking/finding their photographer, and then I let it go. I gave my input and advice. I think the worst thing to do to a aspiring (as it sounds like the wedding photographer here) photographer is to make them nervous because then they fumble up worse and really create a mess. So… I force myself to be “Switzerland”, keep my mouth shut and remain neutral. :o)
Palmetto: WOW!! So “Uncle Bob” photographed the wedding… NIIIICE!!
Jess: OH YEAH, honestly theres not much you can do I have a friend who honestly liked the big $$ photographers images and her fiance went with their relative to save some dough… shes going to HATE her pictures because they won’t live up to her standards but I gave her a list of the very best in our area.. and told her thats she’d have to live with her decision.. for ever… we will see how it goes…
Megan: I’ve been in situations like this and its SOOO hard. But i find you really can’t say anything. Its a decision they have to make together may it be a good choice or bad. I’ve had friends in the same position and i just say casually “oh well its always good to have a respected professional” its the only way to politely remind them that a professional is a professional and an amateur is an amateur. My thoughts are with you and I really hope the images come out well for them!
Renee: i am a photographer just starting out and i can use all the help i can get! i never turn away tips and different ideas! i always feel there is room for improvement even for the very skilled photographers!
Melissa: I would have offered to go over to the more greener section of the Park..she probably would have loved the suggestion.
Ashley: You respect the choice the couple made for their wedding, and just attend as a friend. They hired her based on a vision and/or price, and saw her work beforehand, and made their decision. It irritates me when family members or friends suggest different locations for pictures that look “prettier”. “pretty” doesn’t always translate well in pictures. I’ll take the awesomely textured dead tree, or abandoned building over a big green space anyday of the week. Not saying this photog can pull it off, but hey, the couple chose her.
Whendie: Friends of mine went to a local studio and booked a so called professional photographer to cover their wedding a couple of weeks ago.
I could tell on the day that the photographer, despite being a supposed pro, was doing a very poor job as I noticed poor angles, group shots taken with ‘rubbish’ in the background such as the drinks table and a dustbin… when two yards to the right would have given them a beautiful foliage background, plus no use of fill in flash when the weather was full midday sun !!
There is nothing you can do in such circumstances, other than use your own camera to take some of you own shots which can be given to the couple at a later date, which is what I did.
Having just seen the results from the ‘professional’ they are appalling – underexposure, overexposure, even some shots were out of focus.This so called professional even missed one of the most vital shots at any wedding namely “the kiss” at the point of pronouncement of marriage !
However despite all of this the couple themselves are actually happy with the photos (or say they are) – not being photographers, they don’t see the mistakes. However they have not had the photos printed yet, which is the point at which I think they may notice as it is quite obvious that the disc the couple have been given is poor quality and not a ‘first generation copy’!! In view of this I have kept my opinions firmly to myself !!
At the end of the day, they chose the photographer and therefore they have to live with their choice. X
Renee: You go as a friend/ invited guest and keep quiet. It’s hard to do but the right thing to do. Maybe another pro photographer would have criticized your poses/pics the same way you are doing this photographer!?!?!
Colleen: most non-photographers judge a photo on expression….not backgrounds, blown highlights, rule of thirds, etc. So if they are happy with the outcome…I would smile and agree that they are lovely photos. Every one sees beauty differently. Take some of your own photos of the day and make a nice album as a supplemental gift for the couple.
Morgan: Whendie What do you mean by “first generation copy”??
Christy: Offer to do a portrait session with them on their anniversary, then they will see the difference and (maybe) realize they hired a fauxtog
Jennifer: Think about it, how would you feel if you had someone do that to you? There are always more experienced photographers out there and everyone starts somewhere. It was their decision. I see photos that other photographers do sometimes, and think how much better I could have done, but it’s not my place to judge them, so I keep my mouth shut. Iif the couple is happy with them, you should be a good friend to your best friend and be happy for her and not say a word.
Cindy: Ultimately there will likely be some really nice shots and others can be edited to improve them… If the couple is trying to save money and goes with someone with less experience I would hope they already understand they are not getting wedding magazine photography… And you have to respect a couple for not blowing their budget. I think suggestions given with good intent would be welcome but if given in a know-it-all attitude no one likes that.
Sandy: I am a “new photographer” too! I would always want suggestions! I would actually appreciate them all the time! I love the idea of taking your own photos and making a book for them as a gift! I did my first wedding for a family member this past July…I actually told them that they should look for a more experienced photog but them insisted on me because they saw what I did for my aunts wedding (where I was a guest) a few years earlier. I wouldn’t get too upset about it…maybe they are completely awesome at editing!
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